Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
zippers are such a cool invention
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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