you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
