My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girls should come with a carfax report
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
