i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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