ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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