I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
