2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
