so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
