She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
