...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
