its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
