New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
