That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
