We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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