i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
