Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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