you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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