Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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