I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
