He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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