Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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