After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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