Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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