If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my liver is dry heaving
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My life is pants optional.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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