is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You took a bar mat shot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
