I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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