yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
