is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
