Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I need moral support for this bender
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
