i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
