my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
