He is an equal opportunity slut.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
