We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
