Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
