So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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