Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
