Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
