If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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