I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
BRING THE BAGELS
All the doctor said was why
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize