i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
