She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
