I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
