Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
