i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
