twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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