That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
