There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
