cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
