She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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