Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
