He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
