Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
