She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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